How to Win Friends & Influence People
by Dale Carnegie teaches you how to deal with people. The book briefly explains
some easy to use principles, why and how they work and then provides tons of
real life examples behind those principles. This book is a must for everyone but
especially parents and teachers and folks in sales, management or business leaders.
I will only highlight the key points. What follows are direct quotes from the book.
Part One: Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
‘If You Want to Gather Honey, Don’t Kick Over the Beehive’ - PRINCIPLE 1: Don’t criticise, condemn or complain.
The Big Secret of Dealing with People - PRINCIPLE 2: Give honest and sincere appreciation.
‘He Who Can Do This Has the Whole World with Him. He Who Cannot Walks a Lonely Way’ -
PRINCIPLE 3: Arouse in the other person an eager want.
Part Two: Six Ways to Make People Like You
Do This and You’ll Be Welcome Anywhere - PRINCIPLE 1: Become genuinely interested in other people.
A Simple Way to Make a Good First Impression - PRINCIPLE 2: Smile.
If You Don’t Do This, You Are Headed for Trouble - PRINCIPLE 3:
Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
An Easy Way to Become a Good Conversationalist - PRINCIPLE 4: Be a good listener.
Encourage others to talk about themselves.
How to Interest People - PRINCIPLE 5: Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
How to Make People Like You Instantly - PRINCIPLE 6: Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.
Part Three: How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking
You Can’t Win an Argument - PRINCIPLE 1: The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
A Sure Way of Making Enemies – and How to Avoid It - PRINCIPLE 2: Show respect for the other person’s opinions.
Never say, ‘You’re wrong’.
If You’re Wrong, Admit It - PRINCIPLE 3: If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
A Drop of Honey - PRINCIPLE 4: Begin in a friendly way.
The Secret of Socrates - PRINCIPLE 5: Get the other person saying ‘yes, yes’ immediately.
The Safety Valve in Handling Complaints - PRINCIPLE 6: Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
How to Get Cooperation - PRINCIPLE 7: Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
A Formula That Will Work Wonders for You - PRINCIPLE 8: Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
What Everybody Wants - PRINCIPLE 9: Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
An Appeal That Everybody Likes - PRINCIPLE 10: Appeal to the nobler motives.
The Movies Do It. TV Does It. Why Don’t You Do It? - PRINCIPLE 11: Dramatise your ideas.
When Nothing Else Works, Try This - PRINCIPLE 12: Throw down a challenge.
Part Four: Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
If You Must Find Fault, This Is the Way to Begin - PRINCIPLE 1: Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
How to Criticise – and Not Be Hated for It - PRINCIPLE 2: Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
Talk About Your Own Mistakes First - PRINCIPLE 3: Talk about your own mistakes before criticising the other person.
No One Likes to Take Orders - PRINCIPLE 4: Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
Let the Other Person Save Face - PRINCIPLE 5: Let the other person save face.
How to Spur People On to Success - PRINCIPLE 6: Praise the slightest improvement and
praise every improvement. Be ‘hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise’.
Give a Dog a Good Name - PRINCIPLE 7: Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
Make the Fault Seem Easy to Correct - PRINCIPLE 8: Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
Making People Glad to Do What You Want - PRINCIPLE 9: Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.